Miami: Food Truck Court’s Most Annoying Vendor

Miami's "Slow (Fast) Food" Truck
Miami's "Slow (Fast) Food" Truck

By Lee Klein | Miami New Times Blog

Hundreds of people descended upon last nights food truck court gathering at Biscayne Boulevard and 109th Street. Not only are the crowds getting larger at these events (Look! Up in the sky! It’s Superfad!), but food vendors seem to be popping up overnight as if from sinister alien truck pods.

Overall impression: One of the attendees I spoke with, Lynne S., who was attending her first food truck court, liked it because “It feels very urban, and there’s a really interesting mix of people.” Agreed. I, too, love the idea that folks of all stripes get together and have a good time chowing down on fun foods. And much of that food is tasty.

Main quibble: Too many American fast foods (especially burgers and everything that can, even if it shouldn’t, be dunked into a fryer); and too few ethnic foods of distinction.

Most Annoying Vendor: Slow Food Truck. The operators ought to be sued for false advertising.

“What is slow food?” is the question posed on Slow Food Truck’s menu card, which also provides the answer: “Three words sum it up…Good, Clean, Fair. Slow Food Truck believes in practicing the ideas of Slow Food and utilizes fresh, local, and seasonal items whenever possible.”

Never mind the “Good, Clean, Fair” part — that’s too patently absurd to even bother trying to counter. But one has to wonder what the “fresh, local, and seasonal” items are in the following, full menu:

Short Rib n Dip
The Ono-Pulled Pork Sandwich
Fresh Fish Sandwich of the Day
The Fatty- Cheese Stuffed Burger
The Bacon Burger – Hand ground with 5% bacon; topped with choice of cheese and more bacon!!!
Handcut Fries
Sour Deez Fried Pickles
Dipping Sauces
Homemade Cupcakes
Fried Dessert of the Day

Now granted, bacon is always in season. And we’ll give benefit of the doubt that the arugula and tomatoes used on the sandwiches are grown locally. If the meats used are organic, you’d think some mention would be made on the menu. But anyway you want to slice and dice it, this is fattening, unhealthy, fast food. Lots of other vendors (most) are serving the same, and that’s just fine. But to associate this sort of junk food with the Slow Food Movement, which was established as a means of countering the spread of just this sort of fast food crap, is misleading, hypocritical, and just plain wrong.